


The Blasphemous Buttermilk

by overholt_eightyfive



Category: gonewildaudio - Fandom, r/gonewildaudio
Genre: 18+ ONLY, F/M, Smut, r/gonewildaudio - Freeform, script offer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:47:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28188687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/overholt_eightyfive/pseuds/overholt_eightyfive
Summary: [F4M] [Script Offer] [fsub] [dark] [heavy self-degradation] [heavy humiliation] [Good Church Girl] [religious commune] [shame-kink] [humiliating masturbation] [anal] [dirty talk] [ambiguous ending]
Kudos: 1





	The Blasphemous Buttermilk

**Author's Note:**

> SYNOPSIS: A conflicted young woman seeks counseling with the young, new senior-member of her Church/commune as she can't shake the insidious thoughts put into her head by her only friend outside of the community. The thoughts... that might have lead to more.
> 
> PERFORMANCE NOTES: She's a corn-fed, small town girl, who has lived a relatively sheltered life in a religious commune (that some might call Cult-ish, but they're just insular people, thankyouverymuch!) She's the one everyone knows to be able to take care of odd jobs around, but also: there's a stain on her reputation that she knows she'll never shake. But, to most, she appears to be polite, respectful and modest.
> 
> Just a SHAME about that... thing. That no one's gonna talk about. She's been living with that for a LONG time.
> 
> He's... the young, new convert. Charismatic and easy-going. Great listener. Becomes... judgmental. You'll know it when you see it.
> 
> AUTHOR'S NOTE: This becomes dark as hell, in that this is an exploration of shame-kinks that have no name in the heads of these characters.
> 
> And, enough of us have lived in, with or nearby religious communities and know how sexual repression can manifest in really... interesting ways. As always: a fantasy with adults, for adults.

\---START---

(Knock on a door. Swings open.)

(Bright, sunny:) Good evening, brother. I thank you so much for seeing me. 

Oh, thank you. You're too kind. Does it matter which chair? Thank you. 

This is incredibly kind of you – no, really. It's so late in the day, but with how busy things have been in the shop, it was the only time that could work for me this week and I really needed to... well... 

I needed some guidance.

(A tight little laugh) It's... oh. I'm sure you've seen this. All the time. (Demurely) I'm sure you already know how silly girls can be.

Oh. Thank you. I know... I know we're not supposed to wear jewelry, but I do love these little pendants. 

Wow. You're... you're really observant, brother. Yes, I have a few of them. Five... (thinks) no, six. I picked up a new one, recently. When we go into town for supply runs, there's a little store that sells them. 

(Quickly:) I always pay for them, full price. I don't want to give them or anyone the wrong idea. I'm not that kind of girl. 

I'll be 24 soon, brother. In a couple of months, yes. (A little laugh) Well, yes. Yes, I guess that makes me a woman. To some. But, I'm unmarried.

Well, yes: my father has tried to arrange things with some of the other families in our community. But, for one reason or another... things never seem to work out.

(Laughs, blushing?) Oh, brother – that's awfully kind of you to say. (Firmly) But, “do not let your adorning be external – let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart.” I strive to be modest. And humble. 

And to never give the wrong impression. Boys are... 

My father made sure to warn me about teenage boys when I was a teenage girl. The wicked thoughts, he kept going on and on about. But, he never did say what they were.

(Quietly) I have... heard some of the boys, though. Talk about... (fiercely, conspiratorially) Filth, brother. Absolute filth. Like – oh. Oh, I can't even say. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for even bringing that up. 

I'm sure a learnéd and saved man like yourself - 

(Shocked:) ...Natural? Oh, no. Not what they were talking about - 

(More shock, barely able to whisper out the words:) Yeswe'retalkingaboutsex. How they want to – with their, you know - 

(Gasp!) BROTHER. That is... that is just... I mean, I know before you joined our commune, you were a... a worldly man. But, that is... that is just not acceptable here.

(Mollified) I mean... what a man and a woman do in the privacy of their bed chamber is their business. Whatever that business is. But, we (whispers) don'thavetotalkaboutit.

(Clears throat) We shouldn't. Talk about it. 

Why not? It leads to.... it leads to horrible, horrible thoughts, brother! Thoughts you can't escape from! Thoughts that just... plague you, day in and day out. 

(Let's out a little groan as she buries her head in her hands) I apologize. I didn't mean to be...such a mess. Here you are, being so kind to me and giving me your time and here I am just... just having a meltdown.

(Looks up, a little laugh) Don't laugh at me, brother. Yes, I * would * call this a meltdown. But, I do need some guidance. For something that - 

Ok. (Taking in a deep, shuddering breath.) Do you promise... do you promise this stays just between us? That I can trust you? Not to say a word about this?

I could get into trouble. Into serious trouble, brother. 

Please. I need your word. 

Swear it.

Swear.

Ok. (Steels herself) Umm. So. You know one of my duties in the community is to go into town with a few of the others for supplies? Well. Umm. At the store, there's a... there's a girl there. She's always been so helpful to me. And, if you just looked at her... you'd think she was just so sweet. And nice. 

And innocent. 

We became friends. I guess. In a way. (Quickly) I mean, she seemed so nice and I know that though she may be from the wicked, wicked world, she seemed like someone I could save. You know?

(Listens. Agrees intently:) Yes. Yes, exactly. A little project, I guess. One soul at a time. Exactly. 

So, I would do my best to share our Message with her. Not pressing her, not trying to overwhelm her. But, here and there. Letting her see, through me, what wonders it could do for us. Like it did...for formerly worldly men like yourself, right?

Right!

So. It went on for a while. And, she was very patient. With me. I thought she was being receptive. I thought I was... reaching her. Until. 

(She shudders) Do you remember when Sister Rebecca got married? Oh, no – this was before your time. Well, when we were preparing for the wedding and I had to pick up a few things – some fresh cornmeal because Sister Ruth just can NOT replace lids properly, a couple of bags of sugar for tea and lemonade, and apricots, definitely some apricots, because Sister Rebecca loves those and she was so grateful to have them at the feast – the girl, my friend, she asked me what was going on. And, I told her that Sister Rebecca was getting married.

(Quiet for a moment.) The... the filth. The filth that came out of her mouth, brother. I mean... it started innocently enough, I guess. What kind of celebration it was going to be. What kind of dress she was wearing. Whether Brother Andrew was cute or not. You know. We were just being... silly girls. 

Then she...

She...

She started asking me how I thought the wedding night was going to go. If Sister Rebecca would... if Sister Rebecca would even know what to * do * with Brother Andrew's – it was disgusting, brother. Gross. Grossness. 

So, I told her to stop saying those dirty filthy things. I told her to. I stomped my foot and told her that that was unclean. That who would even * think * those disgusting thoughts. 

She told me that I was crazy, brother. And, she didn't say anything to me after that. I purchased my supplies and I thought about... I thought about telling her manager what a filthy-mouthed * whore * he had as a clerk. 

Should I have? I mean...I didn't. I didn't. Because, she'd always been kind to me before.

And, I thought that maybe I had overreacted. Just a little. Maybe I could have been more patient with her. Used it... as an opportunity to teach her a better way.

So...the next time I was there, she didn't say much to me. I felt so bad, brother. I apologized to her – I mean, I know. * I* apologized? But, I wanted to make things right, I wanted to – you know? And, I told her that we could still be friends.

Then, she said, she said to me, “Honey, if you're getting freaked out about the thought of two married people * doing it *, we definitely can't be friends.”

(Disgustedly) No. She didn't say “doing it.” 

I was shocked. I left it at that. I was going to leave it at that. Maybe even ask one of the others to go to the store and I'd go to, I don't know. Maybe the butcher or the hardware store instead. But, I didn't want to have to explain things.

And, maybe I still wanted to save her. I mean... I did. I definitely did.

(Clears throat) Around that time, they'd hired another clerk. A boy. I mean, in his early twenties, maybe? And, I'd see how she and him would...talk sometimes. 

It looked like they liked each other. I mean, they were trying to hide it, but I'm VERY observant, brother. I notice... these little things.

But, anyway. Things started to get... 

Get...

Well... 

One day she was helping me. And, she looked... she was always usually so neat and tidy, you know? But, her hair was a bit of a mess. And, she was trying to hide something, when she was talking to me. Like something had just happened. And, I noticed something on her mouth, on her chin. 

I thought it was buttermilk.

I let her know, of course, brother. I would want someone to let me know if I had something on * my * face, right? 

(Darkly) It wasn't buttermilk, she told me. She licked the corner of her mouth. Wiped it off her chin. Licked that off, too. 

(Loathing:) * Whore. * 

Could... could I have a glass of water, brother? Thank you. (It's poured. She takes a few gulps.) Thank you. 

As you know... that store has its busy periods and its down times. I always liked going in for the down times. Because, there would be less people, looking at me oddly. You know how we dress compared to the outside world. But, soon after that...

I got to the store extra early one day. I thought maybe too early, thinking that the clerks would be on their lunch break. But, the sign to come in was still up, in the window. No one was on the floor. I got a little worried.

And, I started hearing... noises. Like...

Like animals. Grunting and heaving and panting. Wet noises, slapping together.

Hard. Thudding. 

Then, I heard her. Who I thought was... just a sweet store clerk. My friend, who helped me with getting extra flour for pies, who would save me the last bottle of ketchup before the next shipment, and always helped me get the best lemons, the freshest honey.

I heard her... I heard her beg for things.

Beg for things I didn't... I didn't know... another person... would ever want.

I...

I didn't... know what to do. I should have run, brother. I should have run, right out of that store and never looked back. I should have screamed and yelled and made such a ruckus to bring the whole town in, let them see what kind of a * slut * was in their midst...

(Long beat.) The door. To the back room. Was slightly open.

And... I went up to it. 

And, I watched, brother. 

I watched him... uh. Do... her. From behind. Holding on to her wrists. His pants were down by his ankles and as he... moved his hips... I...

Part of me wondered why his belt didn't match his shoes. 

Part of me wondered what she meant... to be used like... like...

(Whispers) I can't even say, brother. I * can't. * 

And, another part of me... ummm. 

(Beat.) I watched. Until she... umm. 

(Whispers) * ...you know *

When he pulled himself from her. And, she... uh. Did things. 

To him.

With her mouth. And her hands.

(Her breath catches) That's when I realized where the buttermilk came from.

She saw me, as she still had her mouth around him. I saw the surprise in her eyes. 

But... (guardedly)... uh. She didn't... she didn't say anything. Just closed the door. He didn't notice me. 

I...didn't know what to do. I just waited there, in one of the aisles. They eventually came out. He went to the other side of the store to sweep... and she came over to me. 

And, she smiled at me. 

With the devil in her eyes.

She greeted me, the way she usually did. 

I could... smell him. On her breath. On her face. 

(Broken:) ...I said nothing. I just smiled back. And, we went through my list, as we usually do. My mind... was racing. 

I knew what I * should * have done, brother: I should call her a filthy slut. An unclean whore. That she was disgusting, deplorable, * nasty. * That the * fact* she was begging to be * used * like that was all of the proof I needed. She * wanted * to be called those things.

(fiercely) That her filthy holes should be used up, to teach her the lesson she deserved. That that was all that she would be good for, to be... used in stockrooms. And back alleys. And then shoved into the dark, where no one would ever see how much of a degraded * whore * she was.

But, I couldn't. 

I didn't.

Because... 

(Quietly, murmuring:) I... didn't feel that... I could judge her. 

(Quickly, covering:) Because, aren't we all sinners, right? Don't we all have some...wickedness that lurks in our hearts? I mean, sure: her's might be more than mine, I guess, but... I didn't want to judge.

(Firmly) I mean: it's NOT natural. It's FILTHY.

(Tortured) But... seeing... them.

It did... it did things to me, brother. Things I can't... I can't explain. I couldn't stop thinking about them. The way... he looked at her. The way he was just... using her. To slake... his thirst. 

And the way... (quietly) She was so * wet*, brother. She was dripping. Drooling. From her... and how she pushed back against him. Begging him to... use her.

Harder. 

(Beat) Did I ever talk to her about it?

(Long beat) ...Yes.

(Clears throat.) ...I don't think... she wants my help. I don't think anyone can help * her. * 

(Beat) I need... some guidance... in that...

I fear... umm. That maybe, * I * need help, now.

(Guardedly) How long I've been trying...? With her? Uh... for a year. Maybe two, now.

(Fake laugh) Yes, brother. It has been...umm. Uh. Quite a lot. 

Sure – please. Please, ask anything. Anything if it would help.

(Stunned silence, then:) I'm not... I wasn't... getting anything out of it. I mean... other than wanting to try to help someone who I considered a friend - 

Why did I call her a whore? Brother... (Sighs)...the things she's done. The things I've seen her do. The things she's told me. I know... I know she's just trying to... trying to mock me. And, my beliefs. I think. But, the things she's * said *, brother. 

(Sputtering:) Oh, you know, the incident in the back room. That's what I mean. About what I've seen her do. 

I mean, that's...that's a lot, right? 

I'm not evading the question, brother - 

(Mollified) Ok. Other things, too. 

I really... I really don't want to say.

Please don't make me say, brother. Please don't.

Yes, I know you said I could trust you, but – look, I just want to start... moving on. In my life. And, not be overwhelmed - 

(Resigned.) Ok. Ok, I'll... say. Ummm. Sometimes... we'd go into the backroom. Or, the toolshed out back. Sometimes, we'd go over to the diner, where she knew someone who was cool – urr... cool with her, I mean. She showed me...things.

Little things at first. Some... things she said that were educational. Then, she started showing me pictures. Of people. Doing...things. (quietly) Pictures...of herself. Movies. On her smart phone. Sometimes with the other clerk. Sometimes... with other men.

Other women.

She showed me... her toys. How she liked to touch herself. She showed me places, on the internet, where she ordered things. Umm.

Uh.

And, one time... uh.

One time, she... and the clerk... did it again. While...I watched. 

(Lying) That... that's all. 

Really. That's it. (Tortured) Isn't that... isn't that bad enough? It doesn't have to be worse than this, brother. It doesn't. It's so filthy. It's just so FILTHY. Please, I don't think...I don't think I want to continue. Can we just forget about this? Please? 

Please?

Yes, I want to get rid of these thoughts! More than anything! But, I don't see - 

(Gasp!) Brother! Why would you ask me that?! That... that's beyond the pale! 

(Hissing:) - No, it is NOT. Denial is NOT an admission of guilt. How * dare * you. (Biting:) How casual the * filth * comes out of your mouth - 

You should feel * ashamed * of what you just accused me of. I'm not going to sit here and be * degraded * - 

(Stunned silence. Trying to catch her breath:) You're... you turned out to be something * else, * brother. I don't even... that doesn't even deserve the dignity of a * response. * 

Oh, if you even * tried * to check the state of my panties right now, I'd scream. I'd scream so loud - 

(Beat) I mean... of course... I know... no one... would be around... right now. 

(Listening. Then, quietly:) You're right. No one knows I'm here. Ok? I didn't... I just wanted to keep this private. That's all. Please. That's it.

(desperate) Okokok – please. Please don't. Please don't do that. No one else needs to know. You swore, remember? 

Yes, I'll be honest. Completely honest. From here on out. Just... please don't tell anyone.

I promise. 

I mean: I swear. 

(Deep shuddering breath) What... what do you want to know? 

I'm here... because, I really do need... your guidance. Your help. I promise you, that's why. I can't... I can't talk to anyone else about this here. 

What really happened that day? That... there was no lie there, just - 

I swear. I wasn't lying about the backroom. I just... I just didn't... didn't say... that... (whispering) ...I was touching myself. As I watched them. 

(Pleading) I couldn't help myself, brother! I didn't even realize I was doing it at the time - 

(Shocked) Do I... want to touch myself right now? You - 

Ok – fine. * Yes. * I do. You wanted to know the state of my panties? (Ruffling of her dress. Humiliated:) Soaked through. Ok?

(Horrified) I can't – I can't just... do that! In front of you! Brother, this is highly inappropriate - 

(Beat. Mollified.) You're right. I swore. Honesty. I just... ok. (Deep breath) Let me... slide them to the side, and – (Her breath shakes again. Different reason:) I'm so... slippery, Brother. I'm so sorry. But, I am. 

Yes. I've done this before. In front of her. A couple of times... with her. Once...with the other store clerk's... manhood... in my mouth. And then... when she grabbed my head to keep it still... (Moans in shame and need) I came... as he used my mouth. Made me gag. And slobber. 

Like a cheap little * whore. * 

Please don't look at me like that, brother. Please don't. I'm just... I'm just so full of... evil. Of wickedness. I can't help it. Please. I'm begging you. I'm begging you for your help. I've done... too much. I've gone too far. 

Can I taste myself, Brother? I love my taste. I love it when I'm watched. I want you to see how good I taste. My holes can be wrecked, but my juices will always taste so good...

(She does so, wetly, then slides her fingers inside. Wet noises, YAY!) I'm so wet, Brother. All the time. I've done a lot of things, but I haven't... I haven't.. taken a man, inside of my... inside of me.

(Thickly) I'm not lying. No lies. No one's taken my pussy since... since I had been engaged. (She begins to fuck herself:) He was a good boy. From a good family. And, I liked him. A lot. I thought... we could start... me giving him... his wifely duties... a little early. 

(If it's at all possible to hate-fuck one's self, here is where it happens:) He told. His family. They called off. The wedding. They whisper. My name. To everyone else. I will never. Be. Married. Because. I was. A filthy. Whore. That ONE night. 

(Whispers, hotly:) I can... be your whore today, Brother. Are you hard right now? Watching me? Like this? (She tastes herself, wetly, keeps going) Not in my pussy. Never there. But... you can have my mouth. You can have my ass. I can take so much... with my ass. 

Let me tell you a secret, Brother: the pendants...I wear... correspond... to the same jewel... in the base... of a butt-plug I have. Buried inside of me. 

(Reveling:) Every time you've seen me wear a pendant... Now. You. Know. 

(Mounting, rise to orgasm:) She fisted me. Once. Past her wrist. I've never felt... so full. I squirted so hard, as I thrust into my sweet little pussy with my fingers, rubbing my little button against the heel of my hand. Her friends... they watched. They watched as they jerked off. And, they came all over me. One by one by one by one. Take out your meat, Brother. Spray me with your seed. Give me... give me all of you. I'll take you. I'll choke on you. Just use me, use me, use me – (Ad lib to orgasm.)

(Recovering. Breathless. A long silence.) You... you didn't even... why didn't you...? I thought you said... I thought you thought I was beautiful?

(Quiet sobbing.) Please tell me... at least... you won't tell anyone. Please? You swore, Brother.

You SWORE!

\---- END -----


End file.
